Resources | Admission Focus

The guide

What admissions readers look for, how to find your story, how to give it a shape, and how to check it before you send it.

Read the guide

How to write a personal statement

Contents

What admissions readers look for3
Find your story7
Choose one and commit11
Give it a shape15
Write the draft19
Check it before you send it23

2

What admissions readers look for

1

What admissions readers look for

An admissions reader may give your statement ten minutes, often less, with a stack of other files waiting. In that time they are trying to answer three questions: what has this person actually done, what do they want to do next, and why does this program sit between the two?

Most statements answer none of them clearly. They open with a passion anyone could claim and praise the program in words that would fit any school.

The statements that stand out do something simpler. They show one piece of real evidence early,the clinic desk? let it explain the goal, and name what the program adds. The rest of this guide shows how.

3

Before and after

Four sentences from the sample applicant’s first draft, and what each became. Every change is one you can make to your own draft.

Cut what anyone could write
“Always been passionate about healthcare” could open a thousand statements. What the clinic desk taught her shows the interest without announcing it.
Before~~I have always been passionate about healthcare, and the field is growing fast.~~
AfterWhen the schedule breaks, the patients in front of me pay for it: a longer wait, a second trip across the city, a missed visit.
Lead with your strongest evidence
The best sentence in the draft was the second one. Now it is the first, and the rest of the statement grows out of it.
Before~~For the past two years I have volunteered on weekends at Eastside Community Clinic’s intake desk, registering patients and keeping the schedule.~~
AfterFor two years I have spent my Saturdays at the intake desk of Eastside Community Clinic, registering about sixty patients a shift and keeping the schedule.
Say what you need from the program
Praise for an “excellent program” tells the reader nothing. Name the gap in your preparation and what the program gives you. If you know the courses or people who fill it, name them too.
Before~~Your excellent program will give me the knowledge I need to succeed in the growing field of health informatics.~~
AfterWhat I lack is the clinical side of the record: how patient data is structured and exchanged, and how a workflow change is tested before it reaches a patient.
Make the goal concrete
“Become successful in healthcare data” becomes the systems she watched fail: a goal her record can support, and one a reader can picture.
Before~~After graduating, I hope to become successful in healthcare data and contribute to society.~~
AfterAfter graduating, I want to design the scheduling systems I watched fail.

The question bank

Answer these on paper before you write a word of your statement. Short answers are fine. Specifics matter more than polish.

Answer them in Brainstorm

What you’ve done
What is one thing you did, built or fixed that you are proud of? What exactly was your part?
What you’ve done
When did a problem in your work or studies refuse to go away? What did you find when you looked closer?
What you’ve done
Which line on your résumé would you most like to be asked about in an interview, and why?
Why now
When did you first think about this degree? Name the moment, not the feeling.
Why now
What can’t you do yet that this degree would teach you?
Where you’re going
Five years after graduating, what problem do you want to be working on?
Where you’re going
Who will be better off because of that work, and how?
Why this program
Which courses, labs or people in this program connect to something you have already done?
Why this program
What will you bring to the program’s classes or research that others might not?

The checklist

Go through it the day before you submit. Tick as you go, or print it and use a pen.

The guide

Before and after

Cut what anyone could write

Lead with your strongest evidence

Say what you need from the program

Make the goal concrete

The question bank

The checklist